remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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