...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize