No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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