My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
