member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
