I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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