i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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