Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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