it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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