is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
