its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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