i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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