so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
