I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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