I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
