I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
