...so i touched it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize