You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
