I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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