apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
