and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
