I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
