Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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