She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
