I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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