Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
