You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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