You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
