I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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