brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
