i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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