Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
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I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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