She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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