we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
