I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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