Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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