You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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