Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
