He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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