i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
