Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize