Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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