My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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