If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
