okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
