I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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