didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
