I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
