There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
