the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
false alarm, still single
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
