Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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