do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to be your penis for a week.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
