Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
