i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
