so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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