If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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