I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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