Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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