dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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