the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
