no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
