Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just pee around me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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