I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She even gives head with a lisp.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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