I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize