I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
