Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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