Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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