Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Boobs are out for the taking
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
