The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
