I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
