I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
